So why do people find it so difficult to stay in love? In his book, Your Love and Marriage, Dr. Willard Harley Jr. says that when couples first get married, they work extra hard at fulfilling their partner’s emotional needs. However, problems arise once someone decides they no longer care about their partner’s emotional needs. Once this occurs, a marriage can quickly become miserable.
Regarding marriage counseling, Dr. Willard also says it has the worst success rate of any other form of counseling. Willard refers to a study that only 25% of those seeking marriage counseling experience any success. In some situations, marriage and relationship counseling can benefit a relationship. A counselor can offer suggestions on resuscitating a near dead relationship or help you to realize that you may not be meeting your partner’s emotional needs.
Relationship counseling probably doesn’t experience much success because many couples seek help after it’s too late. For instance, consider the average smoker who doesn’t quit smoking until after they are diagnosed with lung cancer. Although they quit, they didn’t throw out their last cigarette until after their body had already suffered irreversible damage.
Relationship counseling cannot fix a dead relationship. Unfortunately, some relationships cannot be saved. If one or both partners have mentally abandoned the marriage, it’s beyond repair. The exception is any couple with a sincere interest in preserving their relationship. If you choose to remain married, prepare to put in the necessary time and effort to maintain your relationship. Think of counseling as a spark that can potentially reignite a smoldering cinder into a roaring flame.
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